For all its screams and exposed skin, the remake of Eli Roth’s 2002 film of the same name offers nothing of note to talk about, which is unsurprising, seeing as how it’s a virtual facsimile of the original. Cabin Fever leads anyone to wonder the point behind remaking a film from the recent past that was neither popular nor well received in the first place. Roth is also executive producer behind the feature. Can someone say cinematic self-congratulatory masturbation?

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The film follows five ill-fated souls with IQs that do not exceed their age, all in for a getaway in the backcountry at a remote cabin by a lake. Their racy party idyll is soon ruptured by a man infected with a ghastly flesh-eating pathogen. After a chorus of overreactions, the man is eventually thwarted, but not without each one of the cadets contracting the disease.

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There’s no point in mentioning that the host of characters are all rather unpleasant people. Sure, they’re the most bland and basic twenty-somethings of the American variety that you can find, but horror films never claim to feature memorable victims. Character development would only slow down the action. Then again, the story is unimaginative, and one wishes that people’s skin would start falling off sooner. But no matter, this is a horror flick, so the only important points here are scare factor, gore, effects and sex.

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There are not many thrills or heart-pounding moments to speak of. This film is categorically not scary, despite its attempts at cheap scare tactics. It’s as if director Travis Z has only read about horror films or other people’s experience fear. Even the sex scenes look as if they’ve been performed by people whose only encounters with sex have been porn.

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To sum, if a cheesy American horror flick is what you’re after, look anywhere else.